I so got it wrong the first time I read The Five Love Languages (get the gist of it here).


The author explains most people feel loved by receiving one of five different “languages”:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time
  • Acts of service
  • Receiving gifts
  • Physical touch

Aha! I thought, now armed with my preferred “love language”, now I know exactly how to help my partner make me happy! Mistake number one. I was a 19 year old first time bride.

It would take me a few more years to realize happiness was something only I could give myself.

Mistake number two was to expect the other person to change the way they showed love.

20 years later, I still appreciate this book. Now, I use the “languages” to better understand how I can help others feel loved and appreciated while also understanding my own needs and getting them met through those that naturally speak my language.

Some friends and team members love hugs. Some prefer a call to congratulate and gush. Some like long talks about big ideas. And on.

Instead of telling the Mister how he can better fit MY love language, I am seeking to see the love behind the way he naturally gives and shows it. And I don’t mind asking for an extra hug when I need it. It’s not a perfect plan. It is really good one and I’m seeking to get even better at it.

Came home from the mountains to jars of wildflowers. Acts of service. Diffusing this bright blend to freshen up the house while I unpack :

2 drops peppermint
2 lemon
2 rosemary

then cookies are going in the oven. Cookies are definitely his love language. Do you know yours?  I’d love to hear!  Comment below or shoot me a note at amyrenenewman@gmail.com.



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